Category Archives: Responses welcome

Send help! 

As my first year of being a teacher is slowly… very slowly coming to an end, I’m realizing it’s been nothing less than an adventure. 

I’m also realizing I’m finding it harder and harder to do things that make me happy. I’m so tired and I just want to be quiet sometimes. Just to have some time where I don’t have to make decisions, answer questions or give directions. Which usually looks like me spending any free time in bed watching tv mindlessly. 

There’s so many things that I used to love that would bring me genuine joy. I loved exploring new places and taking pictures. I enjoyed painting and creating art. I used to love running and exercising. I loved just going for walks and listening to good music. 

As the weather is nicer, I’m still going to be crazy busy but I really have to find a way to do more things for myself. Even if it’s just sitting on my porch and relaxing with a book. 

How can I find time to do things for myself when I’m so busy doing things for others? If anyone has wise words, advice or suggestions please share. I’m open to some motivation! 

– Even those who usually spread motivation need some once in a while- 

-Z 

#teacherlife motivation 

I’m not going to lie. 

It’s been absolute craziness and I am exhausted emotionally, physically and mentally. 

There’s still so much that needs to be done. There’s still so much that I don’t know. 

It’s just been a very difficult time. 

But in times like this, I tell myself “this too shall pass…” 

It may not be original or very deep but it’s true. It’ll get easier. It’ll get smoother and I won’t always feel this overwhelmed. 

Slowly but surely things will work out and this will pass. 

On the bright side? Tomorrow is Friday! And it’s almost Halloween 😏😏 

Hope you’re all doing well and I’m sorry for being so mia. I’ll try to post more frequently once things calm down a little. 

Desperate but not hopeless

Desperate: having a great need or desire for something. 

That is what desperate means. 

So why does this word have a negative connotation? Why is it a bad thing to want something greatly? Why is it bad to have a desire for something? 

Do I have the desire to find someone I can truly connect with? Do I have the need to find someone who understands me? Do I have the desire to find someone I am comfortable with? I guess that makes me desperate. 

I guess that makes me a laughable situation. That it makes me have hope for something that will never happen. Right? Because that’s the connotation of those words. 

Having hope is never a bad thing. Knowing what you desire is not a bad thing. Knowing what you need is not a bad thing. In fact, it is not often you find people who have that, about relationships, careers of even the direction of their life.


 So you know what? I am desperate. I know what I want, what I need, what I desire and what I hope for. And that doesn’t make me pathetic. That makes me motivated to seek what I deserve rather than settle for anything. 

Watch what you say. Words have a way of digging deeper than any physical wound. They also tend to last longer.

Living in the in between…BALANCE

Balance is an important part of life. 

I think I have always struggled with balance. It is not something that has come naturally for me. I am either so busy I don’t have time to sleep or all I do is stay in bed and sleep. There hasn’t really been an in between. 

I have this image in my head of what my life should be like. And I’m trying to figure out if it’s idealistic or realistic.

I’m trying to figure out how to balance seeing friends and family. How to balance being an “adult” and being a 22 year old. 

My friend asked me to go to the bar last night and I said I couldn’t because I have work. While this may have been the responsible thing to do, I woke up this morning to pictures of people enjoying their night and I was totally jealous. 

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m in the teacher world and I feel obligated to be the adult and make smart choices or whether that’s just a part of growing up. 

So how do I balance being young and unattached with being the adult children look up to? 

My work is important to me and I don’t want to half -ass it. But my social life is an important part too, right? 

There’s that guilt that keeps popping up no matter how strong I want to be. 

Forever a walking contradiction 

-Z 

Judgement (some rants, some book review, all my thoughts) 

“The ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.”

That’s the definition. Considered decisions and sensible conclusions. 

I don’t know about you but walking around feeling superior and judging people around you does not fall under sensible. 

Feeling like your opinion is the end all is not sensible. 

Everyone goes through struggles that are invisible to the majority. Everyone deals with things in their own way and time. What makes you the expert on everything? Did I ask your opinion? Was it necessary to judge me based on a small moment of a larger life? 

*small break in rant*

I read a book this weekend that completely destroyed me. I’m talking about real tears for fictional characters. That alone is a feat that any author should be proud of. 

The book was titled Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. It should sound familiar since they are making a movie based on this book very soon. 


It’s about a young women who takes care of a man who is in a wheelchair. (That’s if you look just on the surface) *side note: it makes me so happy that this trend of writing about people with “disabilities” is becoming popular. I think it’s so important for us as a society to include all sorts of people and characters into popular culture* 

This book may be seen as a romance or something traditionally for women. But let me tell you what I saw: 

Yes, there is a romance. 

Yes, there is sexual tension. 

But there is also a story of an amazingly adventurous man who lost everything he ever treasured. 

It’s also about the struggle for a young woman to find herself amongst the pressures of her family. 

It’s about the life of someone who was raped and had to move on with their life. 

It’s about the life of someone who has no control over any aspect of their life. 

It’s about superficial assumptions and judgments vs the reality.

It’s about putting your own opinions aside and listening to what the other person is saying. 

It’s about how loving someone means allowing them to make their own choices. 

(I may have given a few things away…whoops! You should still totally read this heartbreaking book!) 

*back to the rant* 

Reading this book, I saw how one small assumption of judgment could be detrimental to someone’s wellbeing. I saw how no matter the level of empathy or sympathy, you will never truly know how any one feels or thinks. I learned you will never know, until you stop judging and take a moment to listen. Until you put away your own biases and see things through someone else’s eyes. 

While my own current life experiences may have influenced what I saw in this book, I feel that’s what literature is about. That’s what writing is about. It’s a way for the author to express themselves and it’s a way for the reader to take away something that is needed to make their mind a little calmer. 

I hope one day, my writing will have that affect on people. I hope one day, my teaching will have that affect on children. But for now, I am learning myself. I am learning to take what the universe gives me and be grateful. 

Practice test? Practice life? 

Today my third graders took a practice ela test today. I have never seen such young kids have so much anxiety. 

They bit their nails and bit their lips. They were looking at the time as if it was their life line. 

It actually hurt to watch them take a test. A test that was just a practice one! 

I don’t know how I feel about giving 8 year olds such anxiety and stress. As a teacher shouldn’t we be preparing them for life? Yes stress is part of it but giving them it just seems counter productive. 

Sigh. 

What is a social life? 

I have always put my education and my career first. I’ve always thought those were important things that should take first priority. And I have enjoyed putting in all my effort into something I am very passionate about. 

However, I have missed out on social things that I suppose are important to a certain extent. Like going out with friends or finding a significant other. 

It has always been a struggle for me to balance my passion for my education and career and having a social life. I feel like I can’t just half ass both. It should be 100% or nothing. 

But this mindset has left me without a social life.

So how do you balance these two aspects of life which could potentially be equally important? 

Sigh. It’s difficult to think of finding someone when you are too busy thinking about 31 different children that depend on you. It’s exhausting and idk how to find the energy to do both.