Monthly Archives: May 2016

Judgement (some rants, some book review, all my thoughts) 

“The ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.”

That’s the definition. Considered decisions and sensible conclusions. 

I don’t know about you but walking around feeling superior and judging people around you does not fall under sensible. 

Feeling like your opinion is the end all is not sensible. 

Everyone goes through struggles that are invisible to the majority. Everyone deals with things in their own way and time. What makes you the expert on everything? Did I ask your opinion? Was it necessary to judge me based on a small moment of a larger life? 

*small break in rant*

I read a book this weekend that completely destroyed me. I’m talking about real tears for fictional characters. That alone is a feat that any author should be proud of. 

The book was titled Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. It should sound familiar since they are making a movie based on this book very soon. 

It’s about a young women who takes care of a man who is in a wheelchair. (That’s if you look just on the surface) *side note: it makes me so happy that this trend of writing about people with “disabilities” is becoming popular. I think it’s so important for us as a society to include all sorts of people and characters into popular culture* 

This book may be seen as a romance or something traditionally for women. But let me tell you what I saw: 

Yes, there is a romance. 

Yes, there is sexual tension. 

But there is also a story of an amazingly adventurous man who lost everything he ever treasured. 

It’s also about the struggle for a young woman to find herself amongst the pressures of her family. 

It’s about the life of someone who was raped and had to move on with their life. 

It’s about the life of someone who has no control over any aspect of their life. 

It’s about superficial assumptions and judgments vs the reality.

It’s about putting your own opinions aside and listening to what the other person is saying. 

It’s about how loving someone means allowing them to make their own choices. 

(I may have given a few things away…whoops! You should still totally read this heartbreaking book!) 

*back to the rant* 

Reading this book, I saw how one small assumption of judgment could be detrimental to someone’s wellbeing. I saw how no matter the level of empathy or sympathy, you will never truly know how any one feels or thinks. I learned you will never know, until you stop judging and take a moment to listen. Until you put away your own biases and see things through someone else’s eyes. 

While my own current life experiences may have influenced what I saw in this book, I feel that’s what literature is about. That’s what writing is about. It’s a way for the author to express themselves and it’s a way for the reader to take away something that is needed to make their mind a little calmer. 

I hope one day, my writing will have that affect on people. I hope one day, my teaching will have that affect on children. But for now, I am learning myself. I am learning to take what the universe gives me and be grateful. 



Fair warning: ranting begins now:

I am 22 years old. I am a female. I am not tragic looking. These are not things that define my existence. 

I am a person who wakes up every morning and struggles to face the world. I am a person who spent four and a half years working my butt off to get a degree and teacher certification. I am a person who reads in most of my free time to learn, to be inspired, to be better. I am a person who has opinions, ideas and thoughts. 

Listening to people judge me based on my age, based on my appearance and based on my gender is insulting. 

Why does it matter? Why does it matter what I look like? Why does it matter that my age is younger than your expectations? Why does it matter if I am a female? 

Shouldn’t it matter how kind I am? How determined I am? How hard I work? What kind of person I am when no one is looking? 

Don’t put me down over things I can’t control. Don’t limit me over things I can’t change.

See me for who I am. For who I strive to be. For who I work towards every day. 

I am not a sweetie, I am not a honey, I am not a baby. I am a determined young woman. Don’t use these terms of supposed affection just to feel superior.

This is just the start of a beautiful journey 

You survived the first Monday back! 

I survived the first Monday back 😅.

Yesterday was an 18 hour day. Days shouldn’t be that long. But don’t even get me started on that. 

Walking into school yesterday, I had mixed feelings. I was glad to be back to being a functioning human of society instead of the coach potato I had become over the weekend, but I was also not looking forward to the daily stresses of work. 

From the very morning, I realized that I missed the kids. I missed seeing their smiling faces and I missed feeling important to them. I listened to all of their stories and I once again remembered how important my job is in their eyes. 

Now don’t get me wrong, things were not perfect. My foot hurt like crazy from my wonderful adventures. The kids were even more hyper than usual..if that’s even possible. The copy machine completely freaked out and would jam every 3 copies. Things were not perfect to say the least. But they didn’t quite bother me the way they usually did. 

I realized this morning that in the past year, I have changed so much. I have realized not to take the little things for granted, I realized that I’m still figuring out who I am as a person and as an educator. I realized that this is just the start of my adult journey and that I’m excited to see what comes of it.

I’m not sure if my trips had anything to do with this change, or if my brother’s words finally got to me. It’s easy to take things personal and to be stressed and anxious about everything but I am slowly learning to let things go, to laugh at it and move on. 
Slowly but surely learning that being an adult is not trying to fix everyone around you, but finding your place among people that may be unlike you.

Take chances, be forgiving, and find happiness in moments.

Welcome back 🙂 -Z 

Leap and don’t look back

There’s something to be said about stepping outside of your comfort zone.There’s also something to be said about jumping head first outside of your comfort zone. 

Over this spring break week, I traveled to Cancun with some of my friends (teacher friends of course). (Teachers need a break too!) We had some relaxing days by the pool with no worries but we also went on some adventures that were definitely not something I do on the daily. 

We went on this excursion called Xplor and there was not one thing that was something within my personal comfort zone. There were four activities and each one tested my limits. Now, it may sound silly or childish to be afraid of something but you don’t know what fear is until you have to deal with anxiety on top of that. Imagine having that fear, plus having all these thoughts about all the possible negative outcomes that could occur. Yea…not fun. 
Anyway, the four activities: water rafting, underwater cave swimming, atv type vehicles and zip lining. 

Water rafting may not seem that big of a deal, but when the only thing you have to transport yourself is your own hands it’s kinda “dificil”. So me and my friend shared a raft and when I tell you we got stuck on every single turn, I am not exaggerating. My arms were so sore after the fact and I was just so happy to be on dry land again. 
Underwater cave swimming is actually a beautiful experience…if you know how to swim. I of course do not. So yes we got life jackets and technically it would be very difficult to drown while wearing a life jacket…my heart did not stop pounding until we were on dry land. Ok let’s be real, we took the shortcut because I was freaking out but I still totally honestly swam in the underwater cave at least several feet. 
The atv vehicle did not give me so much anxiety but it was definitely something I would not go out of my way to do. I of course was not driving because I have yet to get my drivers license (yes I am fully aware how embarrassing that is) but still. The vehicle had no doors or roof or sides that covered your body and we kinda sorta ran into a couple rock walls and trees…with none of that usual protection. 
The last event was the zip lining and we chose the one with less water…the highest zip line in Mexico…nice one right? Well fear of falling and dying did not stop me! I went with my ever patient friend so I wouldn’t have to zip line alone and we went through so many high towers. I did injure myself because what would be a trip without me injuring myself so I didn’t do the last zip line into the water but let’s not forget the other EIGHT that I did do from very VERY high towers. 
So now in a safe place, where I can’t fall hundreds of feet, or drown in an underwater cave, I look at my pictures and I am amazed at the beauty we witnessed. I am amazed how stepping or leaping outside of your comfort zone can bring you to so many magnificent places. I deeply appreciate the patience and consideration my friends had shown me during my not so elegant freak outs, and I am so proud of myself for accomplishing those things. For pushing myself, even if it may seem like that push was not that great, to such a beautiful place. 

I hope your week off was as magical and beautiful and courageous as mine, but if not, do not fret, there is always an opportunity to explore and be adventurous. 
Push yourself beyond your limitations and be proud of your accomplishments. Don’t let anyone pressure you because no one can feel how much you can do. Take it slow, but keep on pushing because there is so much out in our world to discover if only you step outside of that comfort zone. 

(If you read through this whole thing…WOW, now go back and count how many times I wrote “comfort zone” and leave a comment with the answer😜😁)