There’s only so much a person can take. There’s only so much that a person can take before they explode.
As a teacher, your tolerance for nonsense should be higher than most people but there’s always a point where you just can’t take it anymore.
Today, that happened to me.
Out of 31 children, there is one that everyone knows, that all my friends and family already know when I talk about my kids. He is definitely a bright kid and will go far in life, but he is so disrespectful and just plain mean.
So today, when for the millionth time he was doing something that he wasn’t supposed to be… I lost it. I yelled, I screamed, I lectured. It was not pretty. And I am the furthest thing from proud.
In my head, I could almost see myself doing it and telling myself to stop, but I just couldn’t. I was so frustrated and angry and I just could not stop myself.
Eventually the teacher in the room interfered and calmed the situation down. She talked to him and she talked to me. I have never felt so embarrassed in my life. I knew what I was doing was not the “right” reaction but I honestly just couldn’t help myself.
The teacher that I work with is always so calm and collected and I am in awe of her attitude and reactions.
As a teacher, I failed in that moment. I was not the reasonable and in charge grown up in the room.
As a person, I just lost it.
Looking back at it hours later, I know the things I should have and could have said. And I know that next time, I’ll work on calming myself down before reacting. But this was definitely one very bad moment in my teaching career.
I think sometimes it is forgotten that teachers are people too and we have feelings and we make mistakes. Yes, I should strive to be better than this, but I am just human. I’m going to make mistakes and I will learn from them.
So here’s to making mistakes, and having someone there to help you fix them. Here’s to learning from your mistakes and being better than yourself the day before.