Walking contradiction makes adulting hard

I think one of the biggest struggles I will face as an adult is working with people that are not compatible with me. 

I may have phrased that strangely but I’ll explain. I am the type of person who would rather do it themselves than have to fix what the other person messed up. I am the type of person who looks to logical reasons as well as gut feeling, so when a decision needs to be made, I look at many different things. I am not one who likes to be put on the spot but if I am, I take control. 

As an adult, we are not always going to be working or communicating with people who are like us, and that is something that deep down I understand. But when it comes down to it, it is honestly a struggle for me not to just say, “Stop! I’ll do it.” This frustrates me and gives me more work and then the other person is either offended or feels like they can just delegate work to me even if we are on the same hierarchical level. 

I’m not sure if that’s just my personality or it’s because I was taught by an immigrant family who had different values and morals. There’s a way to do things and there’s a way to approach things. 

Growing up in America and being taught by immigrant parents has given me kind of a split personality. On one hand, I will hold my tongue and be polite even if I have a lot to say. On the other hand, I get easily frustrated from the mere act of holding my tongue and kind of take over, freak out or just walk away. 

So in the field of teaching, everything is collaborative and while it is helpful in many cases, I may have a problem with it more than others. 

I have this concept in my head, that it is not fair that a person who is less experienced and less willing to listen to someone who knows more is in the same position as I. Logically this makes sense. How do we have the same job and same pay if one is more prepared for it. Realistically, life is not always about that. Some people just know how to talk themselves up to the right people and that’s how things get done. 

The age old question, is it what you know or who you know. Sigh. 

So here I am, struggling to “act like an adult” and not take things personally and honestly kind of failing at it. Maybe one day I’ll succeed. For now, I will reflect on previous situations and try to be a better and bigger person in the next one. 



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