Today was storybook character day… So I obviously decided to be a word.
Thanks bro 👍🏻
So today one of my kids kicked a ball into my face. Now when I say into my face, I mean it hit my nose and my glasses and just BAM! I was upset and in pain as you can probably imagine. Now this totally ruined my day. I was upset and grumpy and not very nice.
I came back from lunch and a boy comes up to me and goes ” hi, how was your lunch?” I was actually shocked. In two months not one child asked me anything that had anything to do with me or how I am. I replied with “it was good” the boy smiled, said “that’s good” and walks away.
This conversation was less than 5 minutes. And it was so meaningful to me. It made me feel like I was a real person, with real emotions. Now this may sound selfish. But sometimes children make it seem as if you are this teacher creature that is there to cater to their every whim. Having someone acknowledge that you are a human who has feelings and opinions is so nice sometimes.
So my day may have not been the best, but I’m so grateful for that small moment. And that moment is the reason why I’ll be at work tomorrow. Why I’ll wake up at 5 in the morning and travel for nearly an hour and a half. Why I’ll be patient and think of interesting things to do with the kids. That moment will be my motivation until the next moment.
There was an incident yesterday that really threw me. I’m not sure if I mentioned earlier, but I’m working with a third grade class.
So yesterday, a girl in the class who always seemed to be happy and smiling and always surrounded by friends had a melt down. Not a melt down where she threw a temper tantrum but rather she started crying and saying things that frightened me. She is 7 or 8 years old and she was saying that things would be better if she wasn’t around. She said something along the lines of if I were dead, things would be better for everyone. Now I wasn’t there when this incident occurred but my cooperating teacher told me once I returned.
When I heard this, it struck something with me. At the age of 7 or 8, to feel such a way is so scary to me. At such a young age, the only problems I had were who was I going to play with during recess.
I don’t know whether it is our society to blame, whether stuff at her home isn’t as good as it seems. I just don’t know. Regardless, this is not ok. It’s not ok that a child so young, so full of life should feel this way.
In all of the years of taking education classes, not once did we talk about anything of this sort. And it makes me wonder, maybe we should have a class on this. On what we should do. On what we should say. Rather than telling us to call a counselor.
What would you have done in this situation? What would you have told a child hysterically crying and telling you that her life is not worth living?
We are always told that we are not defined by what we do. “What we do, is not who we are.” I have heard this so many times throughout my life. I have heard it from people who hate their job and those that love it.
So I started thinking. When people ask me what I do, I don’t respond with I teach, but rather I’m a teacher. To me, defining myself by my job is not demeaning. I’m proud to be following my passions and doing what I love.
As corny as it sounds, being a teacher is a lifestyle, a state of mind. It doesn’t turn off when you leave your classroom. It follows you home into your thoughts, decisions, actions and dreams. I wake up every morning thinking about what I can do today to motivate that one kid who just can’t focus.
I am a teacher. I am part of a community of people that spend their lives trying to make the world better one student at a time. I’m proud of that. I’m proud to identify as a teacher.
Above is a picture of the bulletin board that I spent three days working on. Collecting papers, figuring out how to place it, mounting it on construction paper, hanging it up, taking it down, hanging it up, fixing it.
A lot of work goes into this you know!
This entire process got me thinking about how the progress and end result are what people see. No one sees the struggle it took to get to that point.
For the past four and a half years, everything I have done has been to get to where I am today. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but it’s just one step closer to my goal.
So if you’re having a hard time, if you just feel like it’s just not worth it anymore, I’m here to say it is. Keep going. Keep trying. Keep pushing through. You are stronger than you think and in the end, the pride you feel will be the best feeling.
Hanging up papers on a wall may not seem like a hard task. But everything that it took for it to look like this, I am very proud of how it came out. I am proud that I didn’t get stuck when something wasn’t perfect, that I took the time to make it what I wanted it to be.
So find something you can be proud of. No matter how small or insignificant it may seem. It’s called a personal journey for a reason! Whether it’s getting to work on time for a week, finally applying to that job or hanging papers on a wall. Be proud. And don’t let anyone tell you different!
This past week, I’ve been thinking about my life on a personal level a great deal. While forging your way to a career you’ve been dreaming of is absolutely amazing, you can’t forget to make connections with humans that are above the age of 8.
I’ve recently reached out to some old friends that have either drifted away or had silly arguments. I’ve got to say, I’ve grown up a lot in the past year. I’ve realized that people that you can honestly connect with is such an important aspect of staying sane.
Having someone you can walk around the neighborhood just talking about daily life is such an amazing thing. Keeping things bottled up may seem easier, but letting it out to people you trust is so much better for you. Getting a hug, from a parent or a friend or a significant other is so validating sometimes. Knowing that there is someone out there in the world that cares enough about you to listen to stories of what 8 year olds say to you and about that boy that you just can’t get out of your head means a lot.
So my advice this weekend is to reach out to a friend and catch up. Whether it be the best friend you had as a child or a coworker that has stuck with you through the drama.
Text them, call them, have a brunch date. Just connect with someone. Let your guard down. And just be.
So I know it’s been awhile since my last post, I’m sorry my life has been a little hectic.
This past week I have been overwhelmed to say the least and this rant has been building inside me. So I thought I’d share:
I’m 22 and living at home. Sure. But I’m also working nearly 36 hours a week plus taking three classes that are all reading and writing intensive. I’m also taking tests to get my initial certification. Because I live at home, I spent approximately 4-5 hours a DAY commuting. I’ve also been sick for the majority of the past two months.
So when people complain to me that they work half a day and they are still hungover from the night before I have no sympathy. When people complain about being broke because they spend any money they do have on parties, bars and drinking..I have no sympathy.
Please grow up. Please learn to be responsible with your money, if you know you have bills to pay, stop spending all your money on alcohol. Please prioritize. If you know you have to spend the next day working, stay home, go to bed early and don’t stay out till 3 in the morning.
I just don’t understand why this logic thinking is not as common as we assume. There’s nothing wrong with being social or having a good time. But if you are in the “real” world, you need to learn to be an adult. At least attempt to be an adult.
I’m trying my best to get through all the craziness, so why shouldn’t you?